Love Smore
by Xxbluebell12xX
Summary: When there is a big sale on plaid at the mall, will Hannibal be able to get Will there in one piece? May become a series of random events. This can also be considered parody. Hannibal/Will.


_This was co-written between me and a friend of mine. I had about two hours of sleep, not sure what her excuse is, though. I'm so sorry in advance. Enjoy._

**The Love Smore**

One bright and shiny day, Hannibal and Will decided to go the mall. They were very excited, well, Will was at least. Today was the day that the mall had a sale on plaid, his favorite fashion statement. Hannibal was not amused. He thought that Will should instead invest in some expensive Latin suits imported from France. But, he thought Will was super duper adorable and he wanted to make his heart go doki doki, so he drove him to the mall. "Thank you for the ride, Hannibal-chan-chan." Will Graham said, batting his eyelashes as he exited the exquisite vehicle. "You are very welcome." purred Hannibal, his accent thick and luxurious like a cashmere sweater.

Outside of the mall, there stood a hobo who looked eerily like Leonardo DiCaprio. "Hello, old sport." greeted Will Graham to the messy looking man-hobo. "Would you like to join us and get some plaid?" The blushies on his cheeks turned even rosier. Hannibal looked disgusted and took in the disgusting view of the new man. He obviously had no taste whatsoever. This "Leonardo DiCap-hobo" should not be seen with a man as fabulous as Hannibal Lecter. "You are so not fabulous, girlfriend." snaps Hannibal, defensively putting an arm around Will. "You stay away from my love smore." The hobo, at Hannibal's sharp, hurtful words, flew into a rage. His face turned red and he looked like a Leonardo DiCap-mato.

"_Your_ love smore?!" howled the hobo, throwing his raggedy Di-cap on the ground. "He is mine now!"

Hannibal let out an animal-like growl and flung himself at the hobo. They tussled on the ground like Texans in the wild, wild West, eating 'murican hamburgers and shooting up cocaine. Obviously, Hannibal won with his super manly muscles and delicious accent that Will Graham would surely enjoy eating up later. Unfortunately, he counted it as a loss because he tore his favorite checkered suit with the pomegranate tie.

"Come on, sempai." persuaded Will in a husky voice. "The plaid awaits us." He took a firm grip on Hannibal's hand and lead him into the beckoning mall area where they would surely find the plaid.

Once they had pranced into the glittering mall, Will looked around in pure joy. The sparkles in his eyes grew to extreme sizes. "H-Hannibal! Look at all the beautifoooooool plaid!" He spun in circles, waving his arms.

Hannibal was frankly very embarrassed, but he thought Will was such a cutie-patootie love cupcake that he couldn't bring himself to make him stop. He began to spin with Will, right there in the middle of the mall. They were delighted, and while they were spinning with such enthusiasm, they spun right into the giant fountain.

With a great splash-sploosh-splosh, water went everywhere. Hannibal cried out as his glistening locks were soaked with water. "NO!" he shouted, pulling his hair with his hands. "HOW CAN THIS BE?!"

Will Graham grew frightened at the sudden rage from Hannibal. He backed away farther into the fountain, while a few bystanders threw coins at him. As the onlookers laughed at Will and Hannibal, Will started to legit freak. He started convulsing, spazzing out in the fountain.

Hannibal turned to the now concerned mall-goers. "Don't worry everyone, it's only a mild seizure."

Everyone gave a gasp of relief, walking calmly away as Will's mouth started foaming in the water. A little girl threw another coin at him before running after her mother. "Mommy! I heard there is a sale on plaid! Let's buy all of it!" This little girl was very rich, so she could.

That one sentence was enough to spring life back into Will Graham. His heart surged with dramatic powers and he sprang out of the fountain. Unfortunately, he was still weak from his seizure and so he could only crawl after the little girl. When he finally reached her, he grabbed onto her Hello Kitty shoe and began to cry. "My plaid!" His voice was a loud wail of feelings and emotions. Hannibal was still back in the fountain, cursing words in other languages and feverishly trying to fix his wet suit. He ended up taking it off and he fabulously walked around the mall in his birthday suit.

"Sir, you cannot be naked in the mall." said a concerned security guard, wondering why this had to happen on his first day.

In the background, Will still clung desperately to the now frightened child.

"But I _am_ wearing a suit," replied the cannibal, smiling pleasantly. "According to my therapist, I am wearing a very well tailored person suit." With that, he shimmied away into the distance to get his honey bunches his plaid. Actually, no. He would stop at the fancy store and get him some suits. And if he doesn't appreciate it, well, looks like he knows what he is eating tonight for dinner. These thoughts suddenly made Hannibal very hungry. His stomach growled like a starving moose and he went off to find the corpse of the hobo so he can have a nice midday snack.

Meanwhile, Will had begun to sob and was wailing all over the child's new Gucci shoes. The mother had frantically begun to smack him over and over with her purse; a lovely zebra print that would make even Hannibal very envious. "Please!" pleaded Will Graham. "Please! My sempai and I were going to get the plaid!" The little girl looked at him oddly. "Sempai?" She saw his blushies and she began to cry with him. "Oh, you poor thing!" the mother and daughter said in unison. "Come now. Let us get you to the plaid to see your sempai."

They skiped into the distance, and when they arrived at the plaid store, they saw a naked Hannibal flexing his muscles, trying to impress Will. He stood where the mannequins were and he was using them as props. "Hannibal-san-chan~" sung Will, his eyes glistening with the love of one thousand ponies. His eyes shone like rubies in the night. "You waited for me!" Hannibal grinned and took Will's hand, getting down on one knee. "I will never leave you. You are the Graham cracker to my love smore." They kissed passionately with manly grunts coming from the mother and daughter.

The End?


End file.
